Time is flying by

On April 30th it will be 6 months since Maddie Grace left this worldly earth of ours. I still find her death so surreal and am still often in tears. I think about all the good and sad times. I think about her taking her last breathe and beating her last heart beat on the Tuesday afternoon of October 30th. It was so final. I struggle with finding inner peace to all of the sorrow that my husband and our two other girls are going through without Maddie. I remember during her time in the medically induced coma that the neurologist had stated that 20% of patients won't pull through. My heart fell to the ground and I could not even stand up straight knowing that this might have been a possibility. I didn't know how I would survive without Maddie. Yes, it's been almost 6 months and yes, I am breathing, eating and sleeping and living life....however surviving without Maddie. Tears and heartaches are part of our every day life. My oldest girl broke down in tears at school because she missed her sister so much. It broke my heart that she is so young to have known this kind of excruciating loss. They were only 19 months apart and as close as two sisters could ever be. I know Maddie has shaped Marissa into the little young lady she is today. My life is more slow paced and filled with lots of alone times which I often prefer. I view some things so differently and don't seem to be in rush to go out and do everything! My faith is unwavering but I still wonder why her? Why us?