As the year 2012 is slowly wrapping up, I reflect on the
hardest and most horrible times of my life this 2012 year as Maddie dealt with
seizures and feeding tube issues and was in and out of the hospitals too many
times to mention again and where she finally succumbed to seizures on October
30, 2012 in a Hospice house. We are devastated not to have our sweet girl
around anymore. Every day we grieve and wished that she was still with us as
happy and healthy as can be. I can also say that our family’s tragedy also
taught me a lot about people in our lives. I am truly blessed for all of my
caring and endearing friends and family members including Laura, Darla, Robin,
Arlene, Stacy, Lyn, Holly, and countless others that were always there for my
family and me even though they had such busy lives themselves. God showered us
with so much support that the ones that did not react to our situation at the
time caused us some hurt but God reminded us of his constant presence to help
us get through many hard days by all of those other wonderful people that truly
love and care for us. I am so grateful for my friends and family and the love
that they have for all of us. Today, I went back to the Ryan House to pick
up our last family pictures taken by Sweet Child of Mine (nonprofit
organization that donates their time and talent to family with children in
hospice). These were some of the last pictures of Maddie and of us as the 5 of
us. We are so blessed to have had those pictures taken just 2 days before she
passed away. We will treasure these pictures
and the memories of our beautiful daughter. Her death certificate also came in and which I
picked up along with her clothes from the mortuary this afternoon. It doesn’t
seem real…but yet it is. I am in tears
over my daughter’s death and I’m not sure when I won’t get choked up or
teary-eyed, I just know that I will be true to God and myself and honor my
sweet and loving daughter, Maddie.
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