Tears

Tears are flowing heavily as I realize that the time for Maddie to go to Heaven is getting nearer and nearer.....I am starting to feel that there's not enough time to cuddle, kiss her, and tell her much I love her. We have had lots of loving visitors and phone calls and texts but I'm struggling with the thoughts that these last precious time with my girl, Maddie Moo Moo is slipping away...too quickly for me to even fathom. We truly appreciate all the love and support you all have given us but we may not be able to take every calls, answer every texts or messages or even accept visitors because we need those seconds or even milliseconds with our child now more than ever because I know we can not ever have them back until we meet in Heaven, Lord willingly. Her lips and extremities are getting paler and paler. Her body showing signs of slowing down in so many ways including respiratory issues...she's getting weaker & less alert. I struggle with wanting her in this sedative state so I can selfishly keep her with me as long as I breathe or letting her go to our Heavenly Father because of the agony and pain that she is suffering with. This evening as I hugged her tightly and my body shook with tears of emotions (even though Maddie is pretty much sedated) her feet began to twitch and her  whole body trembled as she could feel my own pain as a tear drop appeared out of the corners of her eyes.  I don't know when I can stop the tears from flowing...I need to be strong for her. This is so much more painful and emotional than anything that I've ever ever had to face. Even though there is so much support and love all around us, I feel that this is still a lonely journey for Maddie and our family...but then no matter what we are truly not alone because God is always with us. We will try to update you as much as we can but for now please know that we truly appreciate all of your love, support and prayers. Please understand that we love all of you but selfishly need these last precious moments with Maddie. I've added a tab called love letters if your would like to write something in the comment section of the tabs.