Another reminder

Maddie was somewhat irritable throughout the day and it should have triggered a warning sign to us that she would have some lengthy seizures. The inconsolable cries usually foreshadow intense seizures for Maddie. She stayed up much more than usually but had moments of sleepiness/lethargic-ness. She ended up having 3 seizures that were over 1 minute each back to back and I’m not even sure that she had a break so we ended up have to give her Diazepam. Diazepam (valium) is an emergency meds that is used to break up long seizures or clusters of seizures. They have a short life though so if the seizures are not stopped, we would have had to give her another dosage. Fortunately, she stopped seizing and is sleeping blissfully.  While Maddie slept, Elyssa and Marissa and I were able to have sometime cooking, baking, and eating. Well, Elyssa just did the eating. =) Early this morning, we were all able to worship God with our congregation. I am very touched and truly blessed by all the love that is outpoured to all of us. I know God has blessed us with a wonderful, caring and loving church family. One of my dear friends even told me as she was hugging me that it’s okay to cry because when one of us is in pain, the other one is too. Two other wonderful friends also were there to offer comfort. What sweet friends God has given us. Everyone was so glad to see Maddie out and about. She even stayed up some of the time in particular when we were singing.  Music is definitely away to Maddie’s heart. It’s hard to talk verbally about this uncertainty and potential life-threatening chronic illness of epilepsy that Maddie has. I am much stressed and emotional and my heart cries out for a miracle or something. I live in fear that every clinical seizure could be it. She often lies very still and like with a newborn baby, I lean in closely to ensure that she is still breathing. I am on an emotional roller-coaster of hope and doubt and then get another sign or reminder that I’m not the one in charge but God is. We had a great Bible class and sermon today. During Bible class the teacher, Mitch and the class discussion gave me a much needed lesson: God know what’s best for us. All things work together for good for those who love the Lord. Romans 8:28. I do believe and have faith that we are all part of God’s plan.  No matter what he knows what is best and what we need before we even ask. I hope and pray for wisdom and strength for my family and me.