Oh, my heavy heart aches for my Maddie Grace. Her presence
is in everything around our house, our van, and our thoughts..our hearts. I
still can’t believe it’s been a week and 2 days and 4 hours and 15 minutes since we lost our
precious girl. I go into her room where her bed is made as if waiting for her
to lay on her sweet pillows. I find her quilt blanket and nightgowns and hold
her items to my heart and try to smell her sweet scent. These are the items I
have yet to wash for fear of losing my sweet girl’s scent even more. I am teary
eyed as can be and choked up every time that I get a moment of silence to think
of our sweet Maddie Moo girl. I try to focus on the happy days when she would
light up a room with her contagious laughs or smiles. Her smiles were always so
real and from her heart. I try not to think of her last few months where she
fought a very hard battle as hard as she could and instead lost. I think of
this past summer where none of this was even in our thoughts. I think of the
beginning of August and how much my girl was trying so hard to be as
independent as her disabilities would allow her to be. I think of all the home
school items and ideas that I had planned for her. All of my dreams…our dreams
gone, gone, gone. ...We are so blessed to have so many pictures and some videos
of her especially the one of her puckering up to kiss me. When she had come out
of her coma, I feared that she would not know how to do a lot of the things
that she used to do. Kisses were natural to her as she leaned forward to pucker
her lips against mine. I will never forget her sweet and soft lips which were
often very dried from breathing through her mouth so much…but she sure could
kiss you with all of her love and more. I will never forget how her arms would wrap
around my neck for a big tight hug or how she would hug and kiss to get out of
work. I cherish those moments that meant the entire world to me. How I long for
my sweet girl with tears of sorrow in my eyes…trailing my cheeks and this BIG
empty space in my soul and heart. Then I think of where she is in Heaven above
with our Lord and how happy she is…life has to go on for us here on EARTH but
oh, how my heart and soul long to be reunited with my sweet Madeline Grace…
Oh Sweet Somaly, I cant even fathem how hard this is for you and your family, and pray daily for you all to make it through this rough time. I have had my ups and downs with my own children as you know but my pain is nothing compared to yours so please doas i do and think of all the precious moments, sweet smiles, loving embraces, and soft kisses that your Angel Maddie had given you. Those are the things that will get your through this tough time among all the love from family and friends. I am here to support you anyway i can from a dstance. Praying for you always wit Lots of love..
ReplyDeleteAlanna